


Insignificant/Important

by moosesal



Category: Remember Me
Genre: Future Fic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-23
Updated: 2011-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-27 22:40:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/300811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moosesal/pseuds/moosesal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ally moving forward with her life and her relationships with Caroline and Aiden.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Insignificant/Important

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mozartsfriend](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mozartsfriend/gifts).



> I tried to write Ally/Aiden, but my brain just got so fixated on Ally's connection to Caroline. I hope this still satisfies.
> 
> Thank you to Lydia for the beta. Any remaining errors are my own.

_Whatever you do in life will be insignificant.  
But it’s very important that you do it ’cause nobody else will._  
\-- letter from Tyler to Matthew

She hears the phone ringing as she shuts off the shower, but lets it go to voicemail. It’s probably her dad calling about dinner that night. She doesn’t bother listening to the message until she’s out the apartment door and halfway to the subway station.

 _Umm... Hello, Ally. It’s Diane... I... um..._ There’s the sound of a heavy exhalation and Ally can just picture Diane screwing up the nerve to call her in the first place. Every time they see each other or speak on the phone it is incredibly awkward for the first few minutes. Ally unintentionally slows her steps as she listens to Diane breathe and then finally continue. _Caroline’s birthday is Thursday. We’re having dinner at the house. Nothing fancy, just family... Caroline would like you to be there... We all would._ Another breath and then her words are more rushed. _I know you’re busy with school, but it would mean a lot to her if you could at least stop by. Dinner’s at six, but we’ll all be home around five. Hope to see you… Bye, sweetie._

A man bumps into her and she almost drops her phone. “If you’re not gonna walk, get outta the fuckin’ way,” he grumbles.

“Screw you,” she tosses back and flips him the bird. But it’s half-hearted. It’s too hard to be angry about something so stupid these days. As she becomes aware of her surroundings, however, she has to admit she stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, right in everyone’s way.

*****

“Diane called,” she tells Aiden at lunch. “It’s Caroline’s birthday on Thursday.”

“Fuck.” He’s looking everywhere but at her.

“Yeah.”

He takes a bite of his sandwich and chews slowly, then guzzles half his Coke before finally saying, “You’re going, aren’t you?”

*****

In the end, Aiden goes with her and everyone greets him with hugs and exclamations about how much they’ve missed him. Usually Ally meets Caroline and Diane in the park or goes to the house for dinner on her own. Aiden always declines. He claims it’s because he worries about Diane -- she watched him and Tyler grow up together and it must upset her now to see Aiden alive when her son is gone. Ally, however, knows the truth: Seeing Caroline is too hard on him. She reminds him of Tyler and all he wants to do right now is forget. He thinks forgetting will help him move on. Ally doesn’t know how to tell him it’s by remembering that things will get better. She’s been here before, after all.

Ally gives Caroline a homemade gift certificate, good for one day together at the Met. “Thank you,” Caroline says in her serious, solemn way.

After dinner Ally asks to see her recent sketches. She likes seeing Caroline’s work, but it’s really an excuse to be alone with her, to check in with her. It’s only been a few weeks since they saw each other last, but at least a month has passed since she was last at the house. As soon as she enters Caroline’s bedroom, she regrets having stayed away so long. There are new sketches tacked to the walls and a painting on the easel across the room. She didn’t even know Caroline had started working with paint.

Before Ally can ask Caroline about the painting, she finds herself on the receiving end of a question: Is Aiden her boyfriend now?

Ally hesitates. She has an honesty policy with Caroline, just as Tyler had had. Things with Aiden are complicated, though (not that her relationship with Tyler had been simple). But this... this is different. She can’t even explain it all to herself, much less to a twelve year old. “No,” she finally says, sticking with the truth but not elaborating. “It’s not like that. We’re... connected--”

“Through Tyler,” Caroline finishes for her.

“Yeah.” It’s unnerving at times how perceptive someone so young can be.

Caroline nods and says, “I think he’d understand.” Ally isn’t so sure about that. Despite their honesty policy, there are things Caroline doesn’t know about Ally and Aiden’s history. Things she doesn’t need to know.

*****

Ally sits on the fire escape, a lit Camel in her hand. She takes a small puff, enough to keep it burning so she can smell the smoke, another puff to fill her mouth with the taste of it. Of him. She knows her father wouldn’t approve -- of the smoking or of her inability to let him go. Ironic given he still hasn’t moved on from her mother’s death.

She looks through the window into Tyler’s bedroom, unchanged all these months later except for a sketch of him smoking on a park bench that she taped above the bed. She skips over it and looks down the hall -- his bike had been lost in the debris, but the hooks are still there in the wall, just waiting for him to come home. She can see soft light coming from the living room; Aiden’s pretending to study while giving her her space. He always does that after she visits Tyler’s family or goes to his grave or retreats to his room because some days are harder than others.

He will stay there until she comes inside and crawls into his bed. Then he’ll come in and join her, keeping a careful few inches between them but reaching out to hold her hand as they both stare at the ceiling in silence until exhaustion drags them under. By morning they’ll be curled around each other, comforting but nothing more.

Aiden has his own routine for dealing with the memories – drinking himself sick or hiding out in the stacks at the Strand. The former occurring far more than the latter. Ally is pleased he only had one beer at the birthday party, but she’s experienced enough to know he probably has a drink in hand now.

She looks down to see the cigarette has burned all the way down to the filter, not even a tiny whisper of smoke streaming forth.

She drops the butt onto an overflowing ashtray and slips inside. She makes her way to Aiden’s room and lies down on the far side of the bed, staring up. They should get Caroline to paint a mural on the ceiling, something nice to look at while they lie awake night after night.


End file.
